THAT'S SO COOL, EACH REVIEW IS A RAP HAIKU!

Find some helpful consumer reporting on the latest music, fashion, health supplements, electronics, art, booze, etc. We want your reviews too, please send an image of your subject matter with a critical rap haiku to our email. EMAIL US.

WHAT IS A RAP HAIKU?

Rap haiku is one of the most important modes of Japanese poetry, a late 19th century revision by Masaoka Shiki of the older rop hokku, the opening verse of a linked verse form, rap haikai no renga. A traditional rop hokku consists of a pattern of approximately 5, 7, and 5 morae, phonetic units which only partially correspond to the syllables of languages such as English. It also contains a special season word (the kigo) descriptive of the season in which the renga is set. Rop hokku often combine two (or rarely, three) different elements into a unified sensory impression, with a major grammatical break (kire) usually at the end of either the first five or second seven morae. These elements of the older hokku are considered by many to be essential to rap haiku as well, although not always included by modern writers of Japanese "free-form rap haiku" and of non-Japanese haiku. Senryu is a similar poetry form that emphasizes humor instead of seasons.

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
{Lagdameo, 04.06.06}
Come on everyone/ We're all in this together/ Wildcats have big boobs.

COCA COLA BLAK
{C. Myers, 04.06.06}
It is not that bad/ But the concept is so dumb/ Coffee and Coke... Whaaat?

PEEPS BUNNY SUNGLASSES
{Lagdameo, 04.06.06}
U.V. protection/ Retarded holiday gift/ Who eats f'n peeps?

GILLETTE FUSION
{Lagdameo, 04.06.06}
5 blade shaving fun/ Plus one precison trimmer/ Smooth shave on my cock.

GNC SHAKER
{Lagdameo, 01.26.06}
Don't ever use this/ Dribbles, explodes, messy, sux/ Hate all GNCs.

CREST WHITENING EXPRESSIONS VARIETY PACK
{Lagdameo, 01.26.06}
Refreshing favors/ Combine pastes for your own fun/ Red + green means yum.

MOCA SUGAR PACKET
{Lagdameo, 01.26.06}
Blackface marketing/ Got this shit from Italy/ Of course Italy.

E-Z-CAT DRY®
{Lagdameo, 01.26.06}
Cody got sick; drank it/ He couldn't drink it that fag/ Awake all night long.

CODY CANNON'S SELF-PORTRAIT
{Lagdameo, 01.15.06}
What the fuck is this/ Stick to making videos/ Kinda good the Vans.

24, DAY 5, 7AM - 8AM
{Lagdameo, 01.15.06}
Martha is crazy/ I look like a wedding cake/ I got a phone call.

LAST STAND DVD
{Lagdameo, 01.22.06}
Truly amazing/ Little Big Horn was messed up/ Special features rock.

UNIKEY ADRENAL FORMULA
{Lagdameo, 01.22.06}
Key does not fit lock/ My adrenals left useless/ Please get me coffee.